Scrolling scrolling scrolling...wait. How do I feel now? Has my mood changed since I opened Instagram? Facebook? Twitter?
I can tell when I've been on social media. My mood changes. Not always for the worse and not always for the better. Social media only becomes a problem when what I watch and what I read influences me and how I live my life. So if I'm engaging with social media and my mood drops - we know why. I have liked, followed or even simply opened a video on something that has had a negative impact on my mindset. And that is something I can control and change.
Seeing Mindy Kaling and Nisha Ganatra's "Late Night" starring Emma Thompson brought up a stream of consciousness of whether I really understand the messages that I take in. "Be yourself" - do I really know what that means? "Everyone is good at something" - I like to think of it more like everyone has something about them that is unique to them. The word "Good" makes it sound like when I'm focusing on "being myself" I still have to measure up to something or someone else. But I don't. Yes, I have a moral code to help limit suffering. But otherwise, I have to try to not be influenced into thinking that my value is measured by anything. Because I live, I am valid. I do what works for me. That's it.
I started using that simplicity of logic to turn around other messages I tell myself.
I'm not lazy. I do what works for me. That's it.
I'm not unhealthy. I do what works for me. That's it.
It occurred to me that my online presence puts me at a small risk of being an "influencer". But writing is something I do. I like it. So I'm doing it. I'm not responsible for anyone's reactions to what I do and who I am. But I do have a hand in being completely myself, doing what I feel is the thing to do at the time, taking ownership of that choice and acknowledging that it is a responsibility to be honoured, ESPECIALLY in the age of social media.
With my life, comes responsibility. Good night!
Lots of love, love from Ruth xx